LINDA's STORY: looking back with gratitude
Foster Care Adoption
As told by her mother, Debbie, at Bethany's Faith Hope and Love Gala
Linda first came to my home when she was four years old. She was in her fourth foster placement, and her foster family needed a break, so she stayed with me for a little while. When she first arrived, in walked this cute little girl with a pink coat, fur hat, and pocket book. She was cute as a button.
Linda acted as if she were full grown. She was articulate, but didn’t play the way kids normally do. She only wanted to lay on my couch and suck her thumb. I had to literally teach her how to play, and how to be a four-year-old.
She stayed with me for a little while and then went back to her foster home. Months went by, and out of the blue, her county worker called me to see if I would adopt Linda. I thought about it briefly and said, “Yes!” …And then the worker said, “Linda has a three-year-old baby sister, can you adopt her too???”
Linda came home with me when she was four years old and I adopted Maggie soon after. My older daughter took Linda under her wing and they hung out together a lot. They would be together at after-school programs, Linda always doing her own thing, but under the watchful eye of her new big sister. She eventually came out of her shell …….and gradually felt comfortable to call me Mom.
Persistence, patience, and authenticity taught Linda that my love was no joke – I was all in. I was hers and she was mine.
Today, Linda is 18 years old. She’s athletic and will try anything once. She loves to swim – it is her passion, and she has won medals in backstroke. She’s very open about her past in foster care, and tells her story to her friends, family, and teachers.
Last year, when Linda was in 11th grade she had to write an essay about who inspires her – and she wrote about me. In her essay she told her class,
“Adoption day is when it all began. A second chance at living a happy life was given to me, and nothing in the world will ever make me take that for granted. On that day I was adopted by Deborah McHenry, a single mother who didn't really understand what she was getting herself into.”
“Moving forward in life she didn't stop with just with me. She continued to work with foster care in order to adopt my biological sister right after me, and a couple other children that I'm happy to call my brothers and sisters. Without this woman in my life, I have no idea where I would even be in the world right now.”
This gave me a feeling like I must have done something right... I still struggle being a single mom and parenting my kids without a father. I have doubts, but her words gave me such encouragement that I changed her life.
...
I have fostered 22 kids after Linda and adopted three of them.
About 6 years ago I began sitting down with my kids and asking them, "Do you want me to keep fostering?" It’s hard for all of us to say good-bye. They will cry and miss the kids, but the goal in Foster care is for a child to be reunified with his parents, and our job is to support their reunification. Every single time a child leaves, my heart is goes with them.
So when I ask them if I should keep fostering, each time they have told me, “Yes, Mom, keep going.” They know it’s needed and they believe the sacrifice is worth it because of how it has changed their lives.
Linda acted as if she were full grown. She was articulate, but didn’t play the way kids normally do. She only wanted to lay on my couch and suck her thumb. I had to literally teach her how to play, and how to be a four-year-old.
She stayed with me for a little while and then went back to her foster home. Months went by, and out of the blue, her county worker called me to see if I would adopt Linda. I thought about it briefly and said, “Yes!” …And then the worker said, “Linda has a three-year-old baby sister, can you adopt her too???”
Linda came home with me when she was four years old and I adopted Maggie soon after. My older daughter took Linda under her wing and they hung out together a lot. They would be together at after-school programs, Linda always doing her own thing, but under the watchful eye of her new big sister. She eventually came out of her shell …….and gradually felt comfortable to call me Mom.
Persistence, patience, and authenticity taught Linda that my love was no joke – I was all in. I was hers and she was mine.
Today, Linda is 18 years old. She’s athletic and will try anything once. She loves to swim – it is her passion, and she has won medals in backstroke. She’s very open about her past in foster care, and tells her story to her friends, family, and teachers.
Last year, when Linda was in 11th grade she had to write an essay about who inspires her – and she wrote about me. In her essay she told her class,
“Adoption day is when it all began. A second chance at living a happy life was given to me, and nothing in the world will ever make me take that for granted. On that day I was adopted by Deborah McHenry, a single mother who didn't really understand what she was getting herself into.”
“Moving forward in life she didn't stop with just with me. She continued to work with foster care in order to adopt my biological sister right after me, and a couple other children that I'm happy to call my brothers and sisters. Without this woman in my life, I have no idea where I would even be in the world right now.”
This gave me a feeling like I must have done something right... I still struggle being a single mom and parenting my kids without a father. I have doubts, but her words gave me such encouragement that I changed her life.
...
I have fostered 22 kids after Linda and adopted three of them.
About 6 years ago I began sitting down with my kids and asking them, "Do you want me to keep fostering?" It’s hard for all of us to say good-bye. They will cry and miss the kids, but the goal in Foster care is for a child to be reunified with his parents, and our job is to support their reunification. Every single time a child leaves, my heart is goes with them.
So when I ask them if I should keep fostering, each time they have told me, “Yes, Mom, keep going.” They know it’s needed and they believe the sacrifice is worth it because of how it has changed their lives.
